Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

"So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. Behold, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!"

-James 3:5-

Did you laugh because of this picture? Did you smile? How many of us have felt like this? If our inner-child were allowed to express themselves all the time, I'm pretty sure our water-cooler chats, small talks during a coffee break or even our dinner dates would emit much of the same expression. It is so easy to allow our words and thoughts to run rampant without a second thought.

I came across a fantastic quote the other day about deciding of when to speak. First, you must ask yourself: "Is it true?" Then, "Is it kind?" And last, "Is it necessary?" If we asked ourselves those three things - especially the second question - we would either become a pretty silent generation, or hopefully, we would become the better instrument: a life-giving force.

Today I am encouraging all of you to give life to your friends, neighbors, co-workers, family, and even your own selves to speak kindness to them. Speak especially truth. And when you're tempted at the water cooler or on a coffee break to gush "the latest" news - ask yourself, "Is this necessary to speak about? Would I want someone to speak of me in this way? About this topic?" If the answer is no, don't do it!

Paul reminds us in Romans that Christ alone renews our thoughts and it is the thought-life which keeps us in bondage because whatever we are thinking about will make its way out onto the stage through our voice. On the spot, do three things:

(1) Admit to God your weakness in wanting to speak about something that just might not be need to be spoken about.

(2) Ask Jesus for help with self-control

(3) Ask Christ to renew your thoughts, right then and there - to turn your attention to the better things: anything that is true, worthy of praise, honorable, pure, lovely, and any excellence.

I know this seems challenging. As a guilty former gossiper myself, I watched a now very good friend, but then co-worker sit in silence during lunch. One day, I asked her why she was so quiet during lunches. She said, "Because there is nothing to actually be talked about, but the other girls - they talk about them anyway. What good does it bring?" I was so astonished at not only her honesty, but her character. I followed her example and began to be quiet during lunches. I didn't join in with the judgments, the glares or the "Did you know..." or "Have you heard..." conversations.

I learned that gossip does two things: (1) Stirs up strife, resulting in anger and hurt feelings and (2) Uses us as a vessel to get across some messages that either shouldn't or aren't necessary to be given.

Remember, our minds are perhaps one of the greatest vehicles that God blessed us with: imagination, creativity, intellect and wisdom applied.

Let's choose to be life-givers.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
-Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)